Messed Up
by dancerchik
Summary: Nico had been through hell, or something very much like it. The incident would follow him for the rest of his life. He was scarred. He was scared. He was messed up. Enter Will, the caring big brother who stole Nico's heart. But could he heal Nico's wounds? Solangelo. AU. OOC. Boy x Boy. Rated M for Language and possible smut in later chapters. May contain triggers.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Nico had been through hell, or something very much like it. The _incident_ would follow him for the rest of his life. He was scarred. He was scared. He was messed up. Enter Will, the caring big brother who stole Nico's heart. But could he heal Nico's wounds?**

**This story may contain triggers.**

**This contains: Violence, Language, Eating Disorder, Boy x Boy, Possible Smut, and Incest (but not exactly)**

***Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this fanfic. The characters belong to their respective and amazingly talented author (our uncle Rick). I make no money what so ever by posting this story to this site.**

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><p>I never knew my mom. What I knew about my daddy, I wish I didn't. As far as I could remember, daddy had never been a loving man. Although, the pictures of him smiling he hid in the cabinet showed that he once was. But that was back before mom died. Six years ago, my mother died, leaving me and my father alone in the world. Daddy said I killed her. He said that she never would've left him if it wasn't for me. I would listen to him rave every night, as we sat at the dinner table eating whatever it was that he had managed to make from the few items we had in our fridge. We never really had much money. We lived in a one bedroom trailer in Ohio with nothing but a doggie door and a rusty old toilet. Daddy didn't really have much interest in working. All he ever did was tell me how much of a nuisance I was. But I really couldn't remember much about what happened with momma. I was barely even a minute old when she died. All I knew, was that I killed my mom when she pushed me out of her belly.<p>

I guess daddy must have just snapped. He had finally gotten tired of seeing the face of the person who killed his beloved wife every single day. Days leading up to the _incident_, I remember daddy talking to the air. He kept stroking it and saying things like, "I'll be with you soon," and "I'll make sure that murderer can't hurt anyone no more." Then he looked at me- with this look in his eyes that scared me for reasons I didn't even know- and said in a high voice, "Never again!" It scared me so bad, I had nightmares about him. In every nightmare, he would chase me, screaming at the top of his lungs "Never Again! Never Again!" Then I'd wake up. And every day after that, I'd encounter daddy talking to the air again. But I made sure to stay hidden- I didn't want daddy finding me and shouting at me. A few days later, there was the _incident_.

Daddy had told me to sit on the couch and watch SpongeBob while he made dinner. "Yes, daddy." I had said. Those were the first words I had really said to him since I had first seen him talking to the air. I may have only been six years old, but I knew better than to spend too much time around my daddy. I did my best to give him his space, _especially _when he was talking to the air. I did what he said and turned on the television- one of those big back ones with the antenna sticking out from behind. I watched SpongeBob in silence for a few minutes before I realized that something wasn't right. Thick, black smoke hung in the air in front of my eyes, like a curtain. A crackling roar sounded behind me. I turned and saw the kitchen in flames.

"Daddy!" I yelled as I maneuvered through the room, jumping back as the flames spread to the couch that I had just occupied. I coughed and looked through the smoke for my daddy. I found him in the kitchen. He was standing amidst the fire, laughing his head off. "Never again!" he shouted and hacked on the smoke. Then he locked eyes on me. "Never again!" he said and jumped through the flames and grabbed at me, but I ran from him to the only door leading out of the trailer. I tried in vain to pry the door open, but I couldn't breathe. I was choking on the fumes. I fell to the floor, trying desperately to climb through the doggie door, when I felt something hot across my back. Searing pain shot through me as I let out a strangled cry. Daddy had struck me with the leg of a wooden chair that had been set on fire. "Here we come honey!" he laughed crazily. "We're gonna be together again!" I watched him through bleary eyes.

I couldn't breathe. My back was on fire. I was going to die. I lay on the floor, waiting for death, when a miracle happened. Something reached through the doggie door and took hold of my hand. I was dragged through it and laid on the ground. Then, I felt something wet and cold splash across my back. I was saved! Someone had saved me! Was it daddy? "Daddy?" I gasped. But it wasn't him. I heard his tortured cry coming from the house engulfed in flames. "Nico!" He sounded furious. I could see someone- a lady who I knew in the trailer next to ours- standing over me. Her lips were moving, but no words came out. They were drowned out by the sound of my father screaming my name in rage. "Gotta hide from daddy." I told her. Then I blacked out.

(XoXo)

I didn't remember much of what happened after the _incident_. I remember being put in this building with a bunch of other kids. I remember not talking to anyone, not the kids, not the adults, not anyone. I remember hearing the adults around me talking. They'd say things like, "Lucky he survived," and "Father is unstable," and "In a facility."

There were two things I remembered most above all others. First, I remembered the vivid nightmares of daddy coming out of the fire, trying to grab me so that he could drag me back in. He always laughed and screamed a never ending chorus of "Never Again!" I'd wake up and run to the bathroom, crying and puking with my head in the toilet. After the _incident_, I always had trouble sleeping. It was nearly impossible. I'd wake up terrified and I'd fear going back to sleep. Second, I remembered not being able to eat. Every time they tried to feed me, I would remember the thick smoke. I could see it all around me, feel it choking me. Fear rose within me and I'd start choking on the food in my mouth, eventually throwing it up, along with whatever else was still in my tummy. After a while, I stopped trying to eat. The adults stopped trying too. They said that it was too much trouble to deal with. They said I was messed up.

Then there were the meetings. I would sit all day in the small office of a city official. Her name was Beth. She would always walk in with this same couple named Sara and Kyan. The grownups would talk to each other, fill out paperwork, try to talk to me, then fill out more paperwork. I remember being very afraid of the man. Although he would smile at me and bring me toys, I always kept my distance. I was scared he would turn out like my daddy. And I remember being very afraid _for_ the woman. Her belly was big, just like my momma's was before she died. I was scared that she would leave her husband, and that her baby would end up just like me; hated by their father for something they didn't even remember doing.

For almost a month, this continued on a daily basis. The whole time, I kept my mouth shut. I feared that if I opened it, nothing but terrified screams would come out. Screams, or vomit. Finally, one day, Beth had told me that Sara and Kyan were going to take me home with them. She told me that they would take care of me and that I would be safe. She smiled like it was the best thing that could've happened. I wasn't so sure about going anywhere with the man, but I nodded my head, knowing that I didn't really have a choice.

(XoXo)

"Will, this is Nico." Sara said to the boy standing in the living room. They had brought me to their home and was introducing me to their son.

He had startling blue eyes and short, blonde hair that stuck out in all different directions as though he had just woken up for a nap, which he probably did. He looked about 8 years old, only two years older than me, and was a bit taller than me. He held his father's hand and stared at me unblinkingly. I stared back at him. "Daddy, who is he?" the blonde boy asked the man. I cringed at the mention of the D word.

"This is your new brother." He told the child.

A confused look decorated Will's face as he shook his head. "Nuh uh." He said. "My brother is still in there." He pointed to his mom's enlarged tummy.

The woman, Sara, simply smiled and took the boy's other hand. "No, baby. This is your _other_ brother."

"Ooh." He said and nodded his head, as though her explanation made all the sense in the world. I stared blankly at the threesome. At the time, I didn't know what a brother was because I was an only child with a father who never communicated with me other than to tell me that I was a horrible beast who killed my mother in cold blood. But whatever a brother was, I didn't want to be it if it meant having to stay in that house with that man, Kyan. I looked at him, and he looked at me. Frightened, I backed away some. There was no way I was going to let him set me on fire.

Then he spoke. "He's very scared and confused. Some bad stuff has happened to him. So you have to take good care of him." He said to the child, who nodded, never once taking his eyes off of me. "Make sure you're nice to him, and play with him. Okay?" he nodded again.

For the first week, I spent most of my time in the closet in the room Will and I shared. They were all very nice, but I was still afraid. I was afraid of Kyan, and afraid for Sara. I didn't want to get close to them, for fear of getting hurt and for fear of accidentally hurting someone else again. Every night, I was plagued by nightmares of the _incident_, where my father would visit me in my sleep and terrorize me. Every night, I woke up and would cry silently in my closet. During the day, I would revert back to my stony faced self. Then there was Will. He would stare at me curiously for hours while he played with his toys. He'd ask me if I wanted to play, but I would just look at him blankly. I don't know why I wouldn't talk to Will. It wasn't like I was afraid of him. I guess I was still afraid of opening mouth and hearing nothing but screams.

I was thankful that they decided to give me some space. "Until you get used to being around us," they would say with a smile. I didn't eat meals with them, but they would bring my food up to the room and leave it for me to eat whenever I felt like it. Not like I ate it any way. I did try though. Late at night, I would sneak into the kitchen and rummage through the fridge for something I might possibly be able to eat. No matter how many times I tried though, I couldn't get rid of the choking sensation that would overcome me. I'd run to the bathroom and purge everything I had inside of me, which wasn't much really.

One night, Will found me like that. Without saying a word, he took me into the kitchen, prepared some nice hot soup, and tried to spoon feed me. But I cried and shook my head. "Why not?" he asked, crying with me. Then I did something that shocked Will and myself. I spoke. "I can't swallow. It's choking me." I sobbed. Then, Will did something curious. He spooned the soup into his mouth, and pressed his mouth against mine. The liquid flowed through his lips into mine, and it smoothly went down my throat. I gasped at the miracle and wept more tears. I was so hungry. Will spent hours that night feeding me soup through his mouth. When we were done, he led me upstairs to our room, and laid in the bed with me. He held me as I slept. That night, I slept soundly without a single visit from daddy.

(XoXo)

**Ten Years Later...**

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

I cracked my eyes and sun streamed though. "Get up boys! First day of school! Bus leaves in 30 minutes!" I heard Will's mom, my adoptive mom, Sara, call through the door. I groaned shook the body next to mine. Will mumbled unintelligible words into the pillow, then began snoring again.

I sat up in the bed and Will's arm fell from my shoulders and landed across my hips. I looked at him bleary eyed. _Fuck! _I sighed. Another night spent in Will's arms was like a gift and a curse. Only in Will's arms was I able to get a dreamless, nightmare less, night of sleep. But only at the expense of my heart. I was in love with my brother.

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><p><strong>Hi Everybody! Welcome to my new story! Ok, so I know that this chapter was kind of short, but it was meant to be sort of a prologue. I really just wanted to put into words the past events that led up to the current situation Nico is in. I also want to say that I am kind of making this story up as I go. I hadn't planned on having it posted so soon, but it was in my head and I couldn't focus on anything else til I got it out, that's why Im up typing at 5:06 am. Though I do have some ideas for future chapters, everything isn't in chronological order yet (that's why I didn't really want to post the first chapter up so soon). So please bear with me as I get my hot mess of a head sorted out. And one more thing I need to mention that is kind of important... I NEED YOUR REVIEWS! They help me make my stories better! So don't forget to review! Now im off to bed. Good night... or good morning... whichever one you think it is!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! so I just wanted to say thanks for taking up reading this new story of mine! This one is kind of a darker fic, and I say that because of the ED and Nico's traumatizing past. I know this chapter is kind of short. It could've probably been longer, but my fingers are really cramping up right now. um... is there anything else I wanted to say? I don't think so, but for some reason I have a feeling that im forgetting something. oh wait, I remember! im looking for a beta reader, so let me know if you're interested! Now, on with the story!**

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><p>How do you know when you love someone? You spend all day thinking about them. You wonder how they are, and hope that they are doing okay. When you're apart, you feel as though all of the air has been sucked out of your lungs. When you're together, you get butterflies in your stomach and have this unnatural urge to smile. You laugh when they are joyous, and you cry when they are sad. Your heart feels like it's going to beat out of your chest when they touch you in the slightest way. When you realize it, you try to deny it. But by then, it's already too late. You've fallen in love too deep, too fast. You panic because you feel as though you are free falling, and <em>they <em>determine whether the parachute will deploy, or if you'll fall to your death. And as hard as you try to keep your distance, they have this powerful way of pulling you in closer. That's what it's like. Or at least, that what it was like for me.

I finally realized I was in love with Will when I was 12 years old. At first, I just rationalized it to me depending on him to take care of me. But even when I wasn't hungry or tired, thoughts of Will swam through my head. I remember once I had sat by the window and watched as he did yard work with Kyan, he was 14 at the time. It was hot out and he was sweating, so he took off his shirt to cool down. Sweat dripped his abs and disappeared into his jeans. His hair clung to his face. I watched the way his body moved as he worked. I was staring so hungrily at Will, I hadn't even realized I had a boner until I whimpered and creamed myself. I was so embarrassed I ran straight to our room and stayed there for the rest of the day. That was four years ago. Now, I stilled watched him, but I did it more discretely. I'd take quick peeks when I thought he wasn't looking. I couldn't risk Will finding out about my feelings for him. I knew for sure that he would leave me. I didn't want that.

(XOXO)

Will and I rushed about the room, busy trying to prepare for our first day of the year at CHB High School. Will was a senior this year, which meant it was his last, first day of high school. It also meant that next year, I'd be spending my days at school absolutely alone. Well, not _totally _alone. I mean, I _did_ have a few friends; Bianca, Hazel, and Reyna. I just wouldn't be able to spy on Will through the windows while he had gym class. That was always my favorite part of the day. That, and lunch. I spent my lunch time with Will in the old music room that nobody ever used. He'd feed me whatever it was that he had packed for us.

Yes, ok. So I _still _had problems eating food without freaking out. I know that I was burdening Will everyday with my problem, but I didn't know what else to do. Besides, I didn't mind when Will fed me, as long as no one else was around when he did it. It gave me time to be close to him without him suspecting my feelings. On the outside, I acted indifferent towards Will, but on the inside, I treasure every second I spent with him.

I'd always change faces when it came to Will. During the day, I acted as though we were nothing more than brothers. Like I said earlier, I would act indifferent towards him. But at night, I would always soften up. Even though we still shared a room, we each had our own beds. Still, I would crawl into his bed and lay close to him, loving the feel of his body against mine. Of course, I always asked him for his permission first. He would smile at me and lift the covers, inviting me into his warm embrace. "Always, Nico. You don't even have to ask." He's say. But I still asked every night. I feared that he would get tired of me intruding in his space. But for years, he welcomed my neediness without a sign of regret or irritation. I hoped that would be the case for the rest of my life.

"Mom!" Will bellowed as he left the room and disappeared down the hall. "Did you cook breakfast?" Sara was Will's and Teddy's mom, and my adoptive mother. She and her husband, Kyan, had adopted me when I was six years old. Back then, she was pregnant with Teddy, our younger brother. Sara had insisted that I call her 'mother'. Although I loved and respected her, I couldn't bring myself to call her that. To me, mother had always been the person that I killed. I feared that by calling her 'mother', I would eventually end up hurting her too. So I stuck with calling her 'Sara'.

"I did!" I heard her reply. "Too bad you won't have time to eat it! You'll have to leave any minute if you want to catch the bus to school! You should have gotten up the first time I woke you!"

No breakfast? Fine by me. I never ate breakfast anyway. Not unless Will fed me. I shouldered my back pack and made for the bathroom. I stepped on the scale, anxious to know what my weight was. This was the daily ritual. Step on the scale. Pray that I gained weight. _101 lbs._

"You lost weight. Did you eat yesterday?" Will said, coming up behind me. I shook my head negatively. I turned and saw that he held a yogurt and a spoon in his hand. "Open." He said, holding a spoonful to my mouth. I opened my mouth and granted access to the creamy substance. I swallowed. "Good boy." Will said, smiling. He stepped closer to me, and my heart beat quickened. I could smell the body wash that he had used that morning. I closed my eyes and inhaled his aroma. _Smells like cinnamon. _I thought as he fed me another spoonful. God, how I wish he would feed me _his_ cream instead.

I opened my eyes and looked up at his face. He looked down at me, biting his bottom lip. Damn, he stood so close to me. _Too _close. His eyes were drawing me in, a gravitational force pulled me closer to him. His lips, God his lips! I wanted to press them against mine, I wanted to taste them. No, it was more than want. It was _need. Raw need._ "Will," I sighed.

"Yes?" his breath ghosted across my mouth, his lips mere inches from mine. He was so close!

"I-" I started to tell him what I needed, when Sara's voice drifted down the hall. It seemed to be coming closer. "Bus is here! It's now or never, Boys!" we sprang apart, just before she appeared in the bathroom doorway. A light blush dusted my face and I looked anywhere but at their faces.

"Right." Will said then squeezed past his mother and disappeared down the hall.

I nodded to Sara and made to follow Will out the bathroom, when she pulled me into a hug. "Have a good day at school, Nico." She smiled. I returned her smile and walked down the stairs, making my way to the front door.

Teddy was sitting at the kitchen table. As I passed him, I kissed him on the forehead and ruffled his hair. "Goodbye, Teddy Dearest."

He blushed and fixed his hair. "Don't call me 'Teddy Dearest'! I'm 10 years old! I'm way too old for that nickname now!" he called. I laughed and closed the door. I started calling him that after watching the movie _Little Women._ I'd say "Goodbye, Teddy Dearest." Whenever I left for school. Besides Will, Teddy was really the only ever male I felt comfortable around. When he was a baby, I would take care of him when Sara was busy. We would play together, and I'd hold him while he slept.

As he got older, he clung to me all the time. Most people would get annoyed with someone following them everywhere they went. But I didn't mind. In fact, I loved it. Being around Teddy made me feel like I had someone to take care of, instead of being taken care of all the time. Not that I minded being taken care of by Will either, but taking care of Teddy was always a fresh breath of air. Now Teddy was older. It kind of made me sad, knowing that he wouldn't need me much longer, but I tried not to let it bother me much.

(XOXO)

"Sup, Bitches?" Bianca laughed as she made a space for herself between me and Hazel. She threw her arms around our necks as we made our way up the hill to our school. I chuckled as bumped our hips together. Bianca was olive skinned, with black eyes, and silky dark hair. Freckles splayed across her face, giving her a sweet, innocent look. Hazel, the girl on the other side of Bianca, had smooth skin the color of roasted coffee beans. Her curly, cinnamon brown hair fell at her shoulders. Her golden eyes sparkled when she smiled. I loved these girls. They were like the sisters I never had the pleasure of having.

"Where's Reyna?" I asked. Reyna was the fourth person in our tight group of friends. She was a Puerto Rican girl, with long, glossy black hair and deep black eyes. She was very attractive. All of them were, really. Even though I loved both Bianca and Hazel, Reyna was the only one who knew about my past and my feelings for Will. She had daddy issues too, so we easily empathized with each other. Before I knew it, I had told her all about my past and about how I was in love with my brother.

"She texted me and said she was gonna be late today." Hazel said, tapping on her phone screen, most likely texting her boyfriend, Frank. Although Frank was a good guy, I tried my best to steer clear of him. Actually, I tried my best to steer clear of all men. I didn't want to still admit it, but even though I was 16 and a male myself, men still scared me. Whenever I was alone with one, or if they stood too close, panic would squeeze my chest and I'd start to shake. I would only be able to be in close proximity with a man if Will was with me. Helpless, right? Trust me, I know.

"Speaking of texting," Bianca said, and I knew where this was going to go. I shook my head, but she continued on. "You really need to get a cell."

"I don't want to inconvenience Sara and Kyan. Besides, I don't _need _a phone." I told her.

"Fuck, Nico! Everyone _needs _a phone!" she huffed. "I mean, how else are we supposed to communicate with each other?"

"How about face to face? Look! You're doing it right now!" I teased.

She crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at me. "Haha. Very funny."

"I try." I countered. The bell rang as we walked through the door. "I'll see you guys later, 'kay?" I said, then parted ways with them. "'Kay." They both responded and went their separate ways.

(XOXO)

As usual on the first day, classes passed in a blur. The teachers introduced themselves and gave a summary of what the school year was going to be like. Students chatted with their friends, catching up with each other after three months of separation. I looked out the window, hoping to see Will walking across the school grounds. Obviously, on the first day of school I wouldn't find Will outside in his shorts and tank running laps around the soccer field with his gym class, but I didn't give up hope. Finally giving up, I turned my attention to the kids in the class. I recognized a few as Will's friends. I had met some of them when they came over to the house to hang out, although I never really said any words to them. There was Annabeth, Piper, and Percy. Annabeth and Piper were sitting with their heads close together, whispering and giggling. Percy, however, kept staring at me. Throughout class, I would turn my head, only to find him looking at me with those piercing green eyes. I freaked me out.

Finally, the bell rang to signal class was over. _Thank the fucking gods!_ I grabbed my bag and sped out of the class before he decided to come talk to me. _Panic attack averted._ I thought as I made my way to the old music room for lunch.

When I got there, Will was reading. "Nerd." At my insult, he closed his book and smiled. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. "What are you reading?"

"Just some Greek mythology for class." He set the book down on a piano bench next to him and pulled a chair close to the one he was sitting on. He patted the empty seat. "Come." I obliged. "You hungry?" asked as he pulled out a lunch sack. He opened it and revealed the divine looking turkey sandwich, with Swiss cheese, cucumber and tomatoes, and iceberg lettuce. My mouth watered a little as I beheld the gorgeous thing.

"Fucking starving." I said. He smiled and broke off a part of the sandwich. He placed it in my waiting mouth and I chewed, savoring its yummy goodness. Will waited until I swallowed before taking a bite himself. I watched his jaw work as he chewed the food, then swallow it down. I gulped, then, realizing I was staring, I shook myself from my stupor and my eyes found the ground.

We took turns biting and chewing the sandwich until there was no more. Then, he stood and dusted crumbs from his lap. "Thanks, Will." I thanked him, as I always did after he fed me lunch. Making Will feed me during lunch always made me feel a little guilty. Will was nice to everyone and he had friends. He probably had better things that he wanted to do with his time. I stood. "Sorry for always forcing you. You're probably getting tired of our lunches, right?"

He frowned stepped close to me. "You're not forcing me, Nico." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm doing this because I care about your health." I smiled at his words, thankful for his care. He returned my smile, flashing his brilliant, perfect smile, and my heart skipped a beat. God, I loved that smile. I wanted so badly to just kiss him, but I settled for something more inconspicuous. I wrapped my arms around his torso in a hug. I felt his arms circle around me. I sighed. I would've given anything to stay that way for the rest of my life. I always loved the feeling of being held by him.

We stood like that for a while in silence. Then Will spoke. "But I am worried about you." He whispered into my hair. "Tonight, I want you to try eating on your own."

Panic rippled through me, but I managed to reign it under control. I pulled away from him and looked at his face. He frowned and furrowed his brow in concern. "Why?" I asked, flustered.

"Because, I'm not always gonna be around to feed you." He caressed my cheek. "You need to at least try to do it yourself."

"I do try!" I snapped at him defensively and stepped away from him.

He raised his hands as though to grab me, but hesitated and lowered them again. "Nico, all I'm saying is that this isn't healthy, and I'm scared." He said softly.

I knew that he was trying to calm me down, but I was panicking. All that talk about Will not being around had me worried. Like, I knew that he was graduating this year. I knew that at some point in his life, he was going to move out, or go to college, or just plain get tired of me. I knew all that, yet it still scared me witless. My heart was pounding, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to apologize for being so weak and cowardly, but when I spoke, nothing but harsh words came out. "I'm sorry for being so messed up! I didn't fucking ask to be like this!" I shouted and tried to walk past him. Will tried to grab my arm, but I shook him off.

"Dammit, Nico! That's not what I meant!" he cried as I hurried through the door. His voice sounded hurt.

"Whatever!" I shouted angrily, causing a few eyes to drift my way. I couldn't stop the tears as they fell from my bleary eyes. I was so upset that I literally felt sick. I ran to the restroom as fast as I could. Almost as soon as I made it through the stall door, the sandwich Will had just fed me turned to vile in my stomach. I gagged as it choked me, burning its way through my throat. It shot from my mouth and spewed into the toilet bowl. I cried. Then someone was in the stall with me. I felt familiar arms wrap around me. It was Will. "Shhh, baby. Its ok." He cooed, rubbing soothing circles on my back. Threw my arms around him, crying. "I'm so sorry!" I sobbed. "Oh, baby. Its ok." He whispered in my ear. "Just relax." He said. No sooner than he said it, I felt myself relaxing in his arms. My sobs softened into tiny whimpers. And then, I fell asleep.

(XOXO)

When I woke up, I was at home. Will lay next to me, holding me in his arms. "Hey. You ok?" he asked, stroking my hair.

I nodded, confused as to why I was home. Then I remembered what had happened. Will and I had an argument. I freaked out a school and threw up. I fell asleep in a- a bathroom stall. I blushed. God, I was so lame! "I'm sorry, Will."

"Baby, don't even worry about it. I'm at fault too for making it seem like there was something wrong with you." Will said. Whenever he called me by that pet name my stomach would grow warm. He had always called me 'Baby' when I had one of my attacks, something he started doing when we were little kids.

"But there is something wrong with me! I'm so royally fucked up in the head! I mean, I can't even feed myself for fucks sakes!" I cried. It was true. I was some kind of crazy.

He held my face in his hands and kissed my forehead. "Nico, No! Don't say that! You're not crazy! You've just had some fucked up shit happen to you! It's not your fault!" he kissed my forehead again, and I felt a tingle in my lower regions. Oh, god. What was happening? Will just kissed me, twice! Granted I was my forehead, but still. Those lips, those divine lips, touched my body.

I couldn't help myself. I wanted to taste him so bad. Before I could stop myself, I kissed his lips, gently biting on his lower lip. Will moaned and kissed me back. "Will." I moaned, as his mouth left mine. He trailed butterfly kissed along my jaw, slowly making his was lower. His tongue grazed my neck line, and shivers went up my spine. Heat pooled in the pit of my stomach, as one of my hands roamed his chest and the other played with the waist line of his jeans. He pressed his crotch against my newly gained erection, and I moaned.

"Will, I-" I started to say, when the door burst open and Teddy flew in, grinning from ear to ear. "Nico!" he said and jumped on the bed on top of me. Will and I jumped apart from each other, rather red and panting slightly. I smiled, hoping that Teddy wouldn't pick up on what was going on before he came in.

"What is it, Teddy Dearest?" I sat up and kissed him on the forehead.

He blushed and shook his head. "I told you not to call me that, Nico!"

"Sorry, baby." I laughed softly. "What is it?"

He dug in his pocket and pulled out what looked like a bunch of beads. "It's a necklace. I made it for you in arts and crafts today." He held it up for me to see. It was made up of a hundred different colored beads. In the center, there was a bead in the shape of a heart. "Do you like it?"

I smiled warmly and took the necklace from him. "I love it. Help me put it on?" he beamed and nodded vigorously. He put the necklace around my neck and touched the heart bead. "How do I look?"

"So pretty." He murmured softly, smiling. I kissed his forehead again and he blushed.

Will cleared his throat behind me. I looked back at him. He looked almost irritated. "Ok, big guy. How about I make you a snack, and we give Nico some space so that he can admire the gift you gave him. What do you say?" Will directed at Teddy.

"Ok! Mom said I could have candy!" he jumped up from my lap and ran through the door.

"Liar!" Will said. He and I shared a look that seemed to say _we'll finish _talking _later tonight_, then he followed after Teddy.

Oh yeah. Later that night, Will and I would _definitely _have to finish, um- _talking, _later that night.

* * *

><p><strong>And such is the ending of Chapter 2! I hope that a wrote a good story for you guys. i hate to think that i didn't do my utmost to entertain you guys. im not exactly sure when i'll have next chapter posted (i have to think of it first) and cuz i have a few other stories to write up. Anyway, thanks for stopping by! don't forget to review on your way out!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

** Will's P.O.V.**

"Will? Will!" Teddy huffed and my attention flew back to him. He was sitting on a stool on the other side of the island counter eating a peanut butter sandwich I had made him as an after school snack. There were traces of the sticky stuff on his right eyebrow, left cheek, nose, as well as in his silky black hair, which he inherited from our dad. "Are you even listening?" he said through bites of his sandwich, the peanut butter obstructing his speech.

"Of course I am, you were just saying how one of your friends at school got a new haircut." I responded, remembering the last thing I heard him saying and resisting the urge to wipe the mess off of his face. In all truth, I wasn't paying attention to him. My mind was far from our conversation at the kitchen counter. Well, maybe not too far; just in the bedroom on the floor above Teddy and my heads. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about the kiss that Nico and I had shared minutes before. God, that kiss! Shivers ran up my spine as I thought about the feel of his lips against mine. I could still taste his skin on my tongue and feel his body against mine. Just thinking about him made me feel hot in the lower half of my body, and yes I meant my cock. I was so fucking hard and I wanted so much more of my gorgeous Nico. It took all my will power and concentration not to just grab my erection and start rubbing one off in front of Teddy.

Teddy rolled his eyes in annoyance. Obviously I had gotten the answer wrong. "I was _saying_ that Janis thinks its love, but I don't know what it is. I mean, it's weird for a guy to love another guy, isn't it?" he blushed and his eyes fell from mine as though he were embarrassed. I raised my brow in question. What exactly had I missed when my mind was so focused on my cock's desires? _Who_ exactly was in love with another guy? Was it Teddy?

I shrugged. Who was I to judge? I was in love with Nico, who was very much male. "No weirder than a man loving a woman." I said. It was truth in my eyes. Two guys loving one another wasn't weird or wrong. The only unsettling thing about me loving Nico was the fact that he was my brother. Well, he was my _adoptive_ brother. We didn't share parents, nor did we share blood. But he was still raised as part of my family, as my brother. Even though I hated to admit it, I feared how others would react if they knew I was in love with my brother.

For eight years, I had loved my brother. And each day, my love grew stronger than the day before. I'd think of nothing but him all day long, eagerly awaiting the time that we'd spend together alone while I fed him. Being able to fall asleep with him in my arms was a blessing and a curse. I'd have the most sinfully wonderful dreams of Nico being taken by me, at the end of which he'd say 'I love you with all my heart'. Every morning I'd wake up with a rod between my thighs, hoping and praying the Nico wouldn't notice. Every morning I'd wake up feeling satisfied but guilty as hell. Oh yes, it was definitely a blessing to be able to hold the one you loved most in the world in your arms. Knowing that you could never have him for as long as you lived would leave you feeling worse than never finding love at all.

I looked to my youngest brother, tired of feeling sorry for myself. He had a look on his face that seemed like he wanted to say more. He chewed his lower lip, and I could practically see the gears turning in his head, debating whether or not to ask another question.

"Even if-" he started cautiously, fiddling with his hands in his lap.

At that point, I was so curious to know what exactly was going on with my younger brother that I was on the verge of bribing him to spill all of his dirty little secrets. He opened his mouth to speak, then Nico strode into the kitchen and Teddy clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. "Never mind." He said and took bit of his sandwich. Damn, so close!

"Who's the artist who painted your face with peanut butter?" Nico joked as he walked up to Teddy and began cleaning the stuff out of his hair.

"It's war paint!" Teddy said, grinning through a mouth full of peanut butter. "Like the tribal warriors!"

"Yeah? What's your warrior name? Messy?" Nico giggled, playing along. He fingered a dollop of peanut butter from the remainder of Teddy's sandwich and smeared it under his own eyes and lips, making different symbols and shapes.

Teddy laughed and puffed out his chest, trying to make himself look bigger. "Warrior!" he said, trying to be serious, but I could still hear the laughter behind his words. "You fight with bravery and honor! On the battle field, you shall be known as Warrior Sticky, until the day that the Sun falls into the Sea!"

They both broke into fits of giggles, and seeing them both so happy makes me feel warm. They were both such cute idiots. Cute, messy, sticky idiots. A small smile played on my face as I watched them.

"Ah," Nico sighed, trying to stop his giggles. "I need to wash this stuff off my face." He began wiping his face with his hands. Teddy decided to help him by licking the peanut butter from his cheek, though he was blushing furiously. My brows furrowed as I choked back a growl. Even though I knew that he meant nothing by it, I was jealous. I was jealous of my 10 year old brother and it was pathetic. I couldn't help it though. I wanted to be the only person to touch Nico like that. "Thanks, Teddy." Nico smiled and squeezed the younger boy in a hug. Teddy blushed. "I'm gonna use a wet towel though, just to make sure it's all gone. Reyna's on her way."

"Reyna!" Teddy cheered as I groaned. I had forgot it was Monday. Reyna always stopped by on Monday. Teddy loved Reyna, but to me, she was nothing but competition. I noticed how Reyna's eyes would always follow Nico around whenever she came over. I also noticed how she would always blush whenever he would hug her. Although Nico himself was oblivious, I knew she loved him, and it pissed me off knowing I couldn't say anything to stop her from being near him without exposing my feeling for him.

"What are we gonna play today?" Teddy asked, smiling. He loved when Reyna visited because she always made sure to include him in whatever she and Nico did. He loved hanging out with Nico's friends and being able to follow Nico's every movement.

Ever since he could barely walk, he could always be found right on Nico's heels. He spent so much time with Nico that when it came time for him to start school, he wouldn't go without crying for his brother. It was around that time that our parents had decided to give him his own room so that he might be able to learn that he can't always follow Nico. He'd sleep in his own room, but he's still spend all his time during the day in ours. Although I felt bad for thinking so, I was a bit glad that Nico and I would have a room all to ourselves all night long.

"I don't know, Teddy dear, but I'm sure it'll be epic." He smiled and made his way to the bathroom just outside the kitchen and across from the stairs.

I looked at the clock on the stove. It was almost five o'clock, which meant that dad would be home any minute. "It's almost five!" I shouted to Nico. Even though he'd been around my dad for eight years, he was still kind of afraid of him. Nico could handle being around him alone, but I knew that he still preferred me to be with him for support. I think dad knew how Nico felt about him, and was hurt by how Nico would always find an excuse to leave whenever they were alone together. But I knew it was because Nico was still haunted by his past, and that he felt bad for hurting my dad. He just wasn't strong enough to overcome his fears.

Everyone in my family, aside from Teddy, knew of the horrible things that happened to Nico when he was living with his father. Because of that, everyone tried their hardest to make Nico comfortable. That was why dad never had any male coworkers or friends over, or why we never ate dinner together. It was also the reason why Nico and I were still sharing a room, even though we had plenty of rooms to spare. Not that I minded sharing a room with him, in fact, I loved it. Being able to spend as much time with him every single day was my life's goal. But I feared for his health. Although I loved sleeping with him and feeding him, I wished with all my heart that he'd be able to feed himself soon. I loved him like no other and wanted to be with him forever, but I knew that I couldn't be around him all the time. Eventually, he would need to be able to do things on his own. I loved and hated how he still depended on me.

The door opened, drawing me from my thoughts. Dad stepped in carrying brown paper bags in both arms, with Reyna holding the door open for him. "Thanks so much. I didn't think I'd make it in by myself." He said to her, and she responded with 'No problem.'

I left the kitchen and walked to the bathroom, as Reyna and father made small talk and Teddy finished his sandwich, asking about what mighty adventure they were going to have. "Your face!" I heard dad say and then Teddy groaned.

"Dad's home." I said, leaning in the doorway watching as Nico dried his face. He nodded silently, but smiled at me in thanks. "You leaving?" I asked. He nodded again. I knew that he wanted to bolt after hearing that my dad was home, but I held hope that he wouldn't leave. I just wanted him to stay by my side. "Won't you eat something before you leave? Please?" I said, gently grabbing his hand and stepping close to him.

He blushed slightly and squeezed my hand quickly before letting go. "No," he shook his head. "I'll eat when I get back." He walked past me and I followed him into the kitchen, his face still flushed a light pink.

"I was just telling your friend here what we were having for dinner." My dad said when he saw Nico enter the kitchen. Though he knew how Nico would react to him, he always tried to engage him in conversation, holding hope that one day Nico wouldn't flinch away in fear. "I invited her to stay, but she politely refused." He laughed.

Nico avoided his eyes as he nodded and walked past him to stand at Reyna's side, who blushed at his arrival. Dad visibly frowned, but didn't say anything. "You ready, Teddy?" Nico asked, and I could tell he was desperate to leave.

Teddy nodded, beaming, and jumped off the stool, making his way towards the teens. Dad grabbed him by his shoulder, stopping him. "No you don't, you're face is a mess!"

"I can wipe it off, dad!" Teddy whined, furiously trying to clean his face with his sleeve shirts. "See?"

Dad shook his head sternly. "Not good enough. You're gonna need a bath before dinner." He turned to look at Nico and Reyna, and smiled. "You guys go on."

I watched jealously as they left together, a smile splayed on Nico's face. "But I wanna go with Nico!" Teddy whined so pitifully that I felt bad for him.

I pushed away my jealousy and smiled at him. "After your bath, you and I will go on an epic adventure." I offered. He smiled and bounded up the stairs.

"Okay!" he shouted gleefully. I smiled to myself, and my mind drifted off to thoughts of Nico.

(XoXo)

** Nico's P.O.V.**

Reyna and I walked up the street to the park. More like, I carried her up the street to the park. Almost as soon as we closed the door and walked down the porch steps she hopped on my back and insisted that I carry her. I grunted under her weight. We were just about the same weight, though I was a bit smaller than her.

She had been telling me about how exciting her new classes were and how she was gonna kill at this year's soccer tryouts. Finally, she stopped to take a breath, and rested her head on my shoulder. "So," she said with a contented smile. "Where were you today? I didn't get a chance to see you at all, though your name was called for attendance in one of my classes."

I sighed, embarrassed, and told her how my day went, omitting the kiss that Will and I shared. Sure, she knew about my feelings toward my brother, but I knew she didn't like Will- for whatever reason- so I didn't want to make things awkward for her. When I finished telling her, she hopped off my back, wheeling me around so that I faced her. She hugged me gently, and I hugged her back. "Don't be sad for me." I tried to laugh nonchalantly, though in all honesty I was glad she hadn't called me lame or crazy.

"Are you kidding? Best friends cry for their best friends who don't cry for themselves!" she laughed weakly and pulled away from me.

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're gonna cry." I teased.

She scoffed and joked, "Fuck no! I was just telling you what other people do. If you cry, I'll punch the shit outta you." She smirked and looked at me from the corner of her eyes.

I smiled and laughed out loud. "I'll be sure to do the same for you." I said as we continued walking. The park loomed closer as we settled into a comfortable silence.

We headed for the swings when we reached the park. I sat on a swing, waiting for her to do the same as she stood in front of me. "You know, I can't swing with you in front of me." I said playful. Then, noticing the serious look on her face, I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she started. She looked as though she had more to say, so I waited patiently for her to continue talking. "Actually, I was just thinking of a way to ask you to be my boyfriend." She shrugged casually and sat in the swing next to mine. Her long, dark hair fell around her face, curtaining her eyes from my view.

Wait, what? Did I just hear that right? "S'cuse me?" I asked.

"Damn, you are thick." She chuckled and spoke quietly. She raised her head and looked at me. "I'm asking you to be my boyfriend."

"Me?" I snorted. "But I'm fucking crazy! Why not someone else?"

"No you're not!" she chided with furrowed brows. "You're not crazy. You're just another tortured soul, like me. Besides, I actually kind of-" she bit her lip in hesitation. "Love you." She finished.

I blushed and fiddled with a small ball of lint on my shirt sleeve. "Reyna," I said, trying to find the words to turn her down without hurting her feelings. "You're my best friend and I love you dearly but, I just think you deserve someone better than me. You- you know how I feel about Will. You need someone who isn't so damaged that will be able to give you all of their love."

"I don't want anyone else! I want you! I'll only ever want you!" she argued.

I smiled weakly at her stubbornness. "You say that now, but one day, you'll find someone you love more than you could ever love me."

"Will you just shut up and think about it?" she laughed feebly, standing up.

I stood up with her. "Of course." I smiled at her and gave her an encouraging hug, which she hesitantly returned. We stared at each other for a while before either of us spoke. "We should get back, don't you think?" I studied her for a sign of sadness. All I could find on her face was the same loving look that one would give their best friend.

"Yeah. I bet Teddy is royally pissed about not being able to come with us." She joked and smiled.

We settled back into our usual banter as we trekked back the way we had come, and I was glad that she hadn't taken any offense to my rejection. I would have hated to lose my best friend over something like that. We had made it halfway back when I heard someone calling my name from behind. I turned to see who could possibly be calling my name. When I saw that it was none other than Percy, my blood ran cold. Oh God, not now!

"Nico, Hey!" he shouted and jogged to catch up to us. Reyna must have seen the panic plastered on my face, because she grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. We walked a little faster. When he finally caught up to use, I was thankful that he stood on the other side of Reyna, though it didn't ease my fear completely. "Who's this? Your girlfriend?" he gave a strange smile.

I couldn't open my mouth to answer out of fear of screaming and crying like a baby. Thankfully, I didn't have to. Reyna did all the speaking for me. "Not girlfriend," she said, though I could hear the wishing in her voice. "Best friend. Name's Reyna."

"I'm Percy, Will's best friend." He held his hand out, and Reyna shook it. "I didn't know Nico had friends." he kidded.

"He has them." Reyna said in a cold, clipped voice and looked ahead as we neared the house. I squeezed her hand appreciatively. Thank God Reyna was with me. If she hadn't been, I'd probably have broken down and wept in the middle of the street.

Percy scratched his head and gave an apologetic look, yet kept his mouth shut. We walked on in silence, even now and again, Percy would look at me from the corner of his eyes as though he wanted to say something. I tried to ignore the freezing feeling in my limbs every time I felt his eyes on my skin.

Holy fucking hell! It seemed as though we would never make it back, when thankfully reached the steps of the porch. Even though there were only two steps, I took them four at a time, and burst through the back door. Will and Kyan stopped what they were doing and their eyes fell on me as I was followed by Reyna and Percy into the house. I practically ran through the kitchen and closed myself into the bathroom. I know that I must have looked pretty foolish, but I'd much rather look foolish than have to spend too much more time with Percy. Now, I just had to wait until Percy left the kitchen before my heart would stop hammering in my chest.

(XoXo)

** Will's P.O.V.**

I was chopping vegetables at the sink when Nico threw the door open and ran through the room like the devil was on his heels. I froze for a second in confusion, before Percy stepped through the door moments after and I realized what was happening. Dad and I shared an understanding look and I dropped the carrot and the knife in the sink. "Hey, Perce." I greeted him as casually as I could. "Let's chat upstairs."

He followed me upstairs and into our room before saying anything. "Hey, what's up with Nico? He having a bad day or something?" he asked and fell onto my bed stomach first.

"Something like that. What's up?" I said, trying to change the subject. I sat in a desk chair at the head of the bed.

"Oh, I just came to ask you something." He shrugged.

"Yeah?" I asked, raising a brow.

"You and your brother are close right?"

"Yeah," I said slowly, wondering just exactly where he was going with this. "Why?"

He flipped, raising himself to rest on his elbows, and looked at me. "Does he ever ask about me?"

"No." I grunted and Percy frowned just a bit. I didn't like where this conversation was headed.

"Oh." He said disheartened. "I was thinking about asking him out." He said, falling on his back.

"Hell no!" I jumped up to my feet, blood pumping furiously through my veins.

"What?" he scoffed and sat up.

"I said hell no!" I could feel the heat rising in my face.

"Why not?" he stood up, with question all over his face. "Look, I know he's your little brother and all, but he's old enough to make his own decisions, don't you think?"

True, Nico was old enough to decide for himself what he wanted, and I know I was being selfish and possibly taking away something that very well could have been something he was destined for, but I didn't care! There was no way I was going to hand over my precious little brother to Percy. "There is no way in hell that I'm handing him over to you!" I said thoughtlessly, accidentally giving him the biggest confession in the world.

Percy looked as though he was going to spit out an argument, but then a slick smirk spread across his face. "You love him, don't you?" he said, stepping closer to me.

I paled at his accusation. '_Holy fuck, I'm screwed!'_ I thought, and it probably showed on my face. "Of course not! Get that thought out of your head idiot." I bit back defensively, trying to push past him and sit on the bed, though I knew that he could see through my lie.

But he smiled and chuckled. "Someone's got a major brother complex." He teased and ambled closer to me. I stumbled back and felt something cold and hard against my back. "Just admit that you love him." he smirked, pinning me against the wall with his knee between my thighs and a hand on either side of my hips. "Admit it, and I'll let you go. If not, I'll take you right here, right now." He grinded his crotch against mine for affect.

"How could I love my own brother? He's just like a baby. All I do is take care of him. I don't feel anything for him but annoyance." The lies burned like acid as they came out of my mouth. I hated myself for saying such terrible things, but at the time, I wanted to rid his mind of the truth. "I simply don't want my brother dating my best friend."

Percy just sighed and shook his head. He backed away from me and sat on the bed. "Just be honest with yourself." He looked at me doubtfully. "Or one of these days, someone gonna snatch him from you. Trust me, I know." He said, as though speaking from experience. Which he was.

A few years back, Percy and I dated for a bit. He had told me that he loved me, and asked me to be his boyfriend. After convincing myself that it wasn't right to be having such sinful thoughts of my brother, I agreed. I thought it'd be good for me to do something other than obsess over my brother. To say that Percy and I had history was far more than true. He was my first, in more ways than one. He took my virginity, and though the sex was great, I felt guilty. Every time Percy entered me, I'd imagine myself entering Nico. Every time he'd call my name in ecstasy, I'd imagine that it was Nico's voice I was hearing. Guilt at using another man as a substitute for Nico had driven me crazy, so I broke up with Percy. I told him that I was in love with someone else and I couldn't be with him romantically. And even though I was glad that he wasn't still upset over what happened between us, I was furious that he had moved on to my little brother of all people.

"Sorry." I said quietly.

He waved off my apology. "Don't sweat the past. Sweat the future, because if you and Nico aren't together by the end of the month, I'm going to make him mine." He warned in a joking manner, yet I could tell that he was dead serious. There was no way in hell that I was going to let that happen.

(XoXo)

** Nico's P.O.V.**

I peeked through the bathroom door and saw Reyna standing in front of me with her hand raised, poised to knock on the door. "He's in your room." She said. "You can come out now."

I blushed from embarrassment and straightened my shirt. "Thanks." She smiled softly and stepped back to let me out. "I'll uh-" I tried to think of an excuse to leave so that I could compose myself for a minute. "I'll go get Teddy, then we can play." I walked around her and headed up the stairs, all the while, mentally cursing myself for being such a coward.

I slowly made my way down the hall, as to prolong my reunion with other people, when I heard the raised voice of my brother coming from our room. I paused at the door and peeked through the crack. I couldn't believe what I saw. Percy had Will pinned against the wall. He was holding his hips and was rubbing his crotch against my brother's. He was leaning into him, close enough to kiss him. The sight broke my heart, but what I heard next tore it into pieces and set them ablaze.

"How could I love my own brother? He's just like a baby. All I do is take care of him. I don't feel anything for him but annoyance." Will said. I choked back a sob and silently walked away from the door, not wanting to be seen or heard, but not wanting to listen to anything else that Will or Percy had to say.

I flew through the hall and down the stairs in anger, daring a tear to fall from my eyes. Thankfully they didn't. Reyna was waiting at the bottom, and when she saw me, her expression morphed through three stages. First happiness, then confusion. Then, after seeing the look on my face and understanding that something, or someone, had bothered me, anger seethed on her face, and I could tell that she was ready to raise hell on my behalf.

We stared at each other for a while, both of us breathing hard. When I think back on this moment, I can't help but laugh. There my best friend was, furious as hell, and she didn't even know the reason why.

Before I could even really think about what I was doing, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into a long, angry kiss. For a moment, shock stopped her breathing and she went rigid. Then, she melted into the kiss. When I pulled away from her, there was another expression on her face, dazed amazement. "N-Nico," she stuttered.

"I'll be your boyfriend." I simply stated. She blushed and nodded.

Wrapping her arms around my neck, she kissed me. "Boyfriend," she murmured against my lips, still slightly overcome with shock. She kissed me again.

"Is the food done? Cause I'm fucking starving!" I heard Sara shout as she walked through the back door. "Oh!" she said, gasping as her eyes fell on Reyna and me, still locked in our kiss.

We jumped apart at the sound, as though we were two naughty children caught doing something against the rules. "Sara." I said, sort of breathlessly. "Welcome home."

At first, she gave me a confused look. But she quickly regained her composure and smiled sweetly towards the both of us. "Thank you, sweetie. You wouldn't believe the day I've had!" she hugged me briskly and looked me over, as she always does when she first gets home from work. The she turned to Reyna. "Hello, dear. Will you be staying and eating with us?"

Reyna shook her head. "No ma'am, but thank you." She said, still blushing. "In fact, I should be heading home now."

"Would you like a ride home?" Sara asked.

"No thanks, I like to walk." Reyna smiled and kissed me on the cheek. "See you tomorrow, boyfriend?" she whispered in my ear, though it did not go unheard by Sara, who raised a questioning brow. I nodded and watched as she walked out the back door.

"So," Sara said slowly. He looked at me with a curious glance. "Boyfriend, huh?"

I nodded and averted her eyes, blushing. "Boyfriend."

"Are you happy with it?" she questioned.

The way she said it made me feel as though she knew more than I first believed she did. It sounded like she knew my heart was somewhere other than with Reyna. I looked at her with a raised brow and she put her hands up in surrender. "As long as _you_ are happy with it, it makes me no difference." She smiled and kissed me on the cheek, then headed up the stairs to her room, shedding her clothes as she walked. "Kyan! I'm undressing and I'm horny as hell! Maybe you should come join me!"

Kyan winked at me as he walked past and headed up the stairs after his wife. "Make up your mind, woman! Do you want food or do you want my magic stick?"

I smiled at them, then walked down the hall and strode into the living room. I loved Sara and liked Kyan well enough. I just wished that I could get over my fear of him long enough to actually talk with him and spend more than two minutes alone with him. For a moment, I had forgotten what had just transpired in my room. The memory returned to me in full force. A lone tear fell from my eye, and I quickly wiped it away. I would not cry. At least not while Percy was still in the house.

(XoXo)

I sat on the couch next to Sara and Kyan as they eat their food. Neither of them spoke much. Kyan, because he was watching the news. Sara, because it rarely sat with them while they ate, and she found it strange. Though she didn't say anything, she would occasionally shoot questioning glances at me. Although I didn't tell her what was going on, I'm sure she thought it was because Will and I had a fight or something. Teddy laid on my lap, asleep. We sat in silence as they finished their food. Then, Will walked in the room and stood at Kyan's end of the sofa. He had his hands crossed over his chest, his delicious chest. Not that I was looking.

Sara looked at Will, then looked at me. She stood up, yawning. "Well," she said and took the empty plate from her husband's hands. "I am tired. Aren't you tired?" she asked her husband, who shook his head, engrossed in this evening's news. "Well, I am. So grab Teddy and put him in bed, dear." Kyan protested, but did as she said. He took Teddy from my arms and grumbled as he walked down the hall and up the stairs.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked when we were finally alone.

"No." I bit back coldly.

"I really think you should eat something." He placed a gentle hand on my arm, and my skin warmed under his touch.

I jerked from under his hand. "Not hungry." He stepped away, a hurt look on his face. "I'm going to sleep." I said, avoiding looking him in the eyes.

"Sure, go on up. I'll be there in a second, I guess." He sounded defeated.

"Don't bother. I'm sleeping on the couch." I tried to make it sound as bitter and angry as I could. I wanted so badly to tell him how he'd broken my heart, but bringing it up would've opened the flood gates and I would've broken down in front of him.

He stared at me for a moment, before sighing and leaving me to myself. I crumbled onto the couch, immediately losing my strong and stubborn composure. I turned the TV off and silently wept myself to sleep, reliving the past 24 hours in my head over and over again.

Had I kept the TV on for even a moment more, I would have seen a photo of my father plastered on the news with a caption that read 'Dangerous Man Escapes a State Mental Institution' and I would have known that my life was in danger.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it took me so long to post this one! it just took me a while to figure out exactly what I wanted to happen in this chapter. but I already have the next chapter sort of planned out, so it wont take me this long to post it. but don't expect it like, tomorrow or anything, cuz im also going to be working on chapters for my <em>Life Goes On <em>series, and a new one that im starting called _Quest for the Ring. _I know, I know, too many things going on at once. but these new ideas just popped into my head and wont leave me, so i'll just have to ink them! remember, R&R like your life depended on it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Don't Hail Hydra guys! Im back! im super late, but im back! what can I say, lots of things going on at once: bipolar depression, writers block, college class, and holidays. i really wanted this to be perfect, but such is life. Inspiration for this chapter was drawn from 2 days of Taylor Swift's "Last Kiss" and Jennifer Lawrence's "Hanging Tree" on repeat. *I don't own anything **I had to put that there. anyway, enjoy! (the reason I probably sound crazy and all over the place is because I've been up since 6 am struggling with finishing this and its now 12:28 am)**

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><p>Will stood in the doorway, with a pained expression, and watched me dry heave into the toilet over and over again. '<em>I was burning'<em> I thought as I remembered the dream. _'Daddy caught me. He pulled me into the fire, and I was burning.' _I shivered and wiped the sweat that had beaded on my forehead. My back tingled. I could still remember the pain from the time that Daddy struck me across the back with a burning piece of chair. And even if I couldn't remember the pain, the burn scar on my back was all the reminder I needed.

My stomach felt as though it were twisted in knots as I heaved air into the toilet. Had there been anything in my belly, it surly would've came out. But seeing as it was empty, all I could do was cringe in pain as wave after wave of nausea contracted my stomach in fiery fits of unfulfilled heaves.

When I had finally stopped heaving over the toilet, I stood. Will stared at me and I turned away from him, not wanting to look him in the eyes. We stood there for a minute in silence. "Daddy came for me." I finally said. I took a shaky breath and clenched my fists to stop them from trembling. "It was bad." I said, fighting back tears. I was terrified, but I tried my hardest not to show it. I didn't want Will to think I was just a baby that needed to be taken care of.

In all honesty, that was exactly what I was; a baby that needed someone to take care of me. I couldn't feed myself, or sleep in my own bed. I would freak out if I was away from Will for too long. Hell, I was even afraid of my own species; male.

"Nico, please come to bed with me." Will pleaded as he hesitantly walked closer to me. "Please?" he ran a hand along the length of my arm, silently purred at his touch. Goosebumps trailed down my arm and my stomach flipped backwards, frontwards, and all the other 'wards' there were. And I know that he didn't mean anything sexual by his words, but my cock didn't know that. A budding arousal bloomed in my pants. Oh my God, I wanted Will! I wanted to melt into him right then and there. I wanted him to carry me into our room and have his way with me.

Boy oh boy, did Will know all the right places to touch and all the right things to say to make my heart melt. No matter how much I wanted to get lost in the pleasure that only Will could give me, I knew that I couldn't. I still remembered what had happened in our room less than 12 hours earlier, and I couldn't shake the words Will had adamantly said while being cocooned by Percy. It was no wonder he preferred someone like Percy over me. Percy was strong. He could do simple things that even I couldn't do, like feed himself. He was normal. I wasn't.

"Please, baby." He said softly, slowly stroking my arm. "Let me take care of you." His words brought me from my stupor, and I stared at him. I wasn't mad anymore. No, I wasn't mad. I was heartbroken and extremely disappointed in myself. I wanted to be stronger. I _needed_ to be stronger. And to be stronger, I couldn't let Will take care of me anymore.

I shook his hand off, internally mourning the loss of warmth his touch brought me. "I'm not a baby, Will. I can take care of myself." I said harshly, hoping that he would be too offended my tone and wouldn't pursue the matter any longer. I knew that Will didn't quite understand why I was so upset. He didn't know that I had heard every word he had said, and I wasn't really eager to tell him that I had witnessed his _intimate moment_ with Percy. I just wanted to prove to him that I wasn't weak, even though I craved his caring hands.

Will looked hard at me, his lips pursed. I looked at my feet, not wanting to meet his gaze. "If you won't let me take care of you, then I'll have to tell Mom and Dad to take you to see a therapist." He threatened.

My head snapped up at his words, disbelieving shock plastered on my face. I searched his eyes for a sign of joking, but when I saw that he was serious, anger swelled within me. "So we're resorting to black mail now?!" I spat out hotly. We had had this discussion ages ago. He knew that I didn't like the _T_ word, or anything, really, that would inconvenience Kyan and Sara. I had made him promise not to tell them just _how bad_ my problem was.

"Nico, you're not giving me much of a choice here!" he retorted, and emotion flooded his voice. "And I'm scared, Nico! I'm so scared!" he grabbed my shoulders with shaking hands. I was surprised that I could actually see the sadness and worry etched deep into his face. I immediately felt bad for being the one responsible for it. "I don't know what to do. So please, please just let me do the only thing I can and come to bed with me." His eyes shined with the threat of tears.

I felt bad. I felt really bad. I mean, really, _really _bad. It was my fault that Will wasn't able to have a carefree life. If he hadn't had to take care of me all these years, he could've done so many more things what teenagers could do. He could've gone to summer camp, gotten a girlfriend, joined a band, spent his free time doing whatever it was that he wanted, anything really. And I was the only thing holding him back. I was such a burden to him, causing him so many worries and sadness. Now, here stood Will before me, the object of my desires, begging me to lay with him, and I wouldn't because of my stupid pride. Well, for the night at least, I decided not to cause him any more problems.

I sighed and walked to the door. I stood there for a while, Will and I silently trying to gauge the other's thoughts. "Well? Are you coming or not?" I finally said.

Will gave a thankful smile. "Of course." He said, and followed me out of the bathroom and to our room.

(XoXo)

"You guys are WHAT?!" Bianca shouted over the din in the cafeteria. Who knew it could be so noisy? And crowded? She had just sat down at the table, carrying her lunch, though I don't know why she even bothered. Lunch would be over in a few minutes.

Reyna had just finished telling Hazel that we were officially a couple, when Bianca had joined us. "I said that we're dating, B." Reyna said.

Bianca shook her head I disbelief and began eating a pear she had fished out of her bag. "I did NOT see that one coming." She spoke through bites of fruit.

"I did." Hazel said, smirking. "I could tell that Reyna has always had her eyes on you. I knew she would get you sooner or later." She teased.

Bianca held out her pear, offering me some, but I refused. Man oh man did I want a bite. I hadn't kept any food down since yesterday morning when Will had fed me that yogurt in the bathroom. And that morning, I got up early and walked to school. It wasn't far, just a fifteen minute walk. I didn't mind the walk, but I had to get out before Will woke up. I had decided that I would start trying to spend less time with Will. Even though it was all I wanted to do, I didn't want to be any more of a burden to him than I already was. The only thing that walking to school really meant was that I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning. And now, because I knew that Will would be waiting for me in the music room, I decided to avoid him in the once place he would never look for me, the cafeteria. By that point, I was fucking starving. I would've killed for food, but I wouldn't have been able to eat it anyway. So I suffered in silence while the girls ate. Reyna hadn't eaten much of her lunch, and I could tell she was trying to be considerate, knowing that I couldn't eat and that I was probably very hungry.

"You know," Bianca said, swallowing her food, then taking another huge bite. "I'm surprised you're even eating with us."

"Yeah. Normally you'd be studying with Will." Hazel added.

"Did you guys have a fight or something?" Bianca asked.

I nervously fidgeted with my shaking hands, not wanting to talk about Will. Hell, I didn't even want to _think_ about Will. Thank goodness for Reyna. She casually placed her hand over mine, as though she hadn't even noticed my trembling hands. "Jesus, B! Don't talk with your mouth full! I can see bits of pear skin stuck between your teeth!"

"God, Reyna! I didn't know my fucking mom was a student at this school too!" she huffed and began checking her teeth with her tongue for signs of pear, and Hazel giggled. I shot an appreciative smile at Reyna, who nodded her head in response.

All was good for a moment or two, and then I saw Will standing by the entrance to the cafeteria. Our eyes met, and he began making his way towards our table. He did not look happy. I swallowed the lump in my throat. If I didn't get out of there soon, I was going to be in some serious trouble. "Shit!" I shot up from the chair, and all three girls looked at me, slightly startled by my sudden outburst. Bianca opened her mouth, as if to ask a question, but I cut her off. "I- I mean… I have to shit!" I said the first thing I could think of. I looked at Reyna and saw the confusion on her face. "Reyna, come with me!" I dragged her away from the table before she could even respond.

"Weird, kinky ass couple!" I heard Bianca shout as we hurried out of the cafeteria.

"What was _that_ about?" Reyna asked as we made our way down the hall.

"Tell you later. How about we leave?" I checked over my shoulder, and relief washed over me when I saw that Will wasn't behind us.

"Uh, sure." She said. "Where to?"

"Your house?" I asked.

"Not even. Dad's not right today."

"My house, then." I said, and made a mental note to ask about her dad later.

We grabbed our stuff from our lockers and snuck out of the building, headed towards my house. After fifteen minutes, we had finally made it to the front porch.

"So he didn't go to work today?" I asked. We had been talking about Reyna's dad. She and her father had had a fight the night before. And when I say fight, I don't mean and argument. I mean, full out fist fight. When I first found out about Reyna's dad, she had told me that he used to beat her and her older sister, Hylla, when they were younger. And then after Hylla committed suicide, Reyna started fighting back, saying that she wasn't going to end up like her sister. She said that last night, they had gotten into a fight because Reyna had made him late to work. The fact that she didn't have any visible bruises, along with the fact that her father stayed home from work, told me that she had won the fight. But then again, I could've been wrong.

"Nope. Then again, if your eye looked like his does, you wouldn't wanna go to work either." She laughed as I opened the door and led her inside. Yep. She definitely won. We walked through the living room and trekked up the stairs. Neither of us said anything until we were in my room and sitting on my bed.

The good thing about dating Reyna is that there wasn't any awkward pressure. I could still be around her and feel as though I were around my best friend. I could just be myself. So I did something I would normally do when we were alone together. I laid my head in her lap and begged her to rub my head. We stayed like that for hours and talked about everything under the sun.

"We haven't completed a whole day of school two days in a row." She said.

"What can I say? We're rebels." I shrugged.

"Yeah." She laughed. "I guess we are. Can I ask my rebel boyfriend a question?"

"Duh." I said.

"Why did you agree to go out with me?" she asked hesitantly. "Are you trying to make Will jealous?" Her fingers stopped moving through my hair and she held her breath.

Will, jealous? Ha! What a laugh! There's no way Will would be jealous, especially when he had Percy. It hurt me to think about it, but there was absolutely no possibility of Will ever being jealous when he only thought of me as the 'little baby brother' that he needed to take care of. I'd be a fool to even think that I could ever have him.

"No," I sighed. "I guess, I just decided that I need to get over him."

"Oh." She said softly. I didn't know if that was the answer she was hoping for. Maybe she was hoping I would say that I loved her and couldn't live without her. All I know is that she accepted my answer. I could tell that she wanted to say something. Her legs tensed beneath me and another question lingered on the tip of her tongue.

"What is it?" I asked while absentmindedly tracing unknown patterns along her thigh.

"Can I kiss you?"

My finger froze and I twisted to look at her. She was biting her lip so hard that it turned white, which was an odd sight because the rest of her face was beet red. Even though it kind of freaked me out to see my strong-willed friend, who under normal circumstances would've taken what she wanted without any hesitation, asking permission for anything, I found her nervously embarrassed expression extremely cute.

"Sure, Reyna." I smiled softly at her.

She leaned down and pressed her lips against mine softly. It was a short, small kiss and we pulled apart from each other soon. Her bottom lip quivered and her eyes begged for more. So I gave her more. I placed my hand on the back of her neck and gently pulled her in for another kiss. I brushed my tongue across her lip, before slipping it in her mouth. She gripped my hip tightly and a moan rumbled from her throat as my tongue caressed the roof of her mouth.

"Oh God, Nico. More, please give me more." She whispered against my lips. I felt bad for kissing her the way that I did, knowing that I could never feel for her what she felt for me. Though I wished I could. I wished that I could lover her with all my heart, and then maybe I'd be able to rid myself of my love for my brother and along with it this immense heart break. I pulled her into another long, hard kiss. Her hand roamed my thighs, slowly inching their way closer to my crotch.

Even as we kissed, I couldn't get Will out of my head. I imagined that it was _his_ hand exploring my nether regions and _his_ fevered lips against mine. I wished it was _his _voice begging me for more. And God, did I want to give him more! Imaginary or not, it was Will's body I felt against mine, and boy did it make me hard. Not just hard. I mean _rock hard._ My cock strained against its confines, begging and _weeping_ to be released.

"Yeah, Nico. Give her more." Will's deadly calm voice filled the room. Reyna and I jumped apart from each other like we were jumping out of a bath filled with scalding hot water. Oh. Shit.

"Will." I said breathlessly.

Will stood in the doorway with his arms at his side. His hands were balled into fists and they were shaking. Blood flooded his veins, turning his face a deep shade of red. Even though there was a pained look to his eyes, they still shot poisonous daggers at Reyna. "Don't stop now, Nico. You've got to give her more." He spat out vehemently, taking a few dangerously slow steps in our direction. I looked over at Reyna and saw her face tinted red, not with the would-be obvious guilt or embarrassment, but instead with something close to anger.

"Will, just calm down and l-" I said gently and stood, trying to defuse the bomb.

"Why don't you give her what you were gonna give me yesterday. I'm sure she would _love_ that." He strode closer to me so that our chests just barely touched. He slipped his finger into my jeans and tugged on the waistline, pulling me closer as he leaned in, a hard expression on his face. "You're extremely hard right now." He whispered in my ear, his cheek flush against mine. His finger lightly circled the tip of my erection, and I whimpered at his touch. "And extremely wet." His soft breath tickled my skin, fanning the flames that roared in my pants.

He was being mean. A total jerk. He was playing with my emotions and it was really starting to piss me off. "Stop it, asshole." I tried to step away from him, only to be pulled back to him by the waistline of my jeans.

"Did you let her taste your juices, baby brother? Did she feed you hers? Did you use your tongue?" his tongue grazed my ear and I damn near creamed myself. Oh yeah, he was a major asshole.

"In the fucking hall, right now!" I shouted at him, pointing over his shoulder at the door. We stared at each other for a moment, locked in a silent battle of whose wrath was stronger. My anger must've been greater than his, because he turned and headed for the door without any argument. I glanced at Reyna, sending her an apologetic, and then followed Will into the hall.

(XoXo)

"WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM?!" I shouted furiously. We were standing in Teddy's dim lighted room. Toys and clothes cluttered the floor, so I had a hard time of not painfully stepping on Legos as I unleased my hell bent fury on Will. With each word that came out of my mouth, my fist connected with his chest. "YOU. ASSHOLE!"

"My problem?! What's your problem?!" he grabbed both of my fists in his hands, stopping their pounding barrage of blows. "Why are you with her?!"

"I can be with whoever I want, Will!" I retorted. "What does it matter to you anyway? Aren't I just the annoying baby brother that you have the unfortunate displeasure of taking care of?"

"What are you tal-" he started, then his eyes grew wide and he flapped his mouth, unable to form words. The sight was almost comical enough to make me forget my anger and laugh. Almost.

"That's right, _big brother._" I let out a humorless laugh. "I heard what you said to Percy yesterday." I snatched my fists free from his. My arms fell flaccid at my sides. "But don't worry. You won't have to be bothered with me anymore. I promise." Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, and I turned my face from his. There was no way I'd be able to separate myself from Will. I'd only end up being his _problem._ You know, the kind that never goes away. And knowing that didn't help matters.

"Nico, you have to know that-" he softly grabbed my hand, and I caved under his touch.

"Let me go, Will." I said, defeated, as tears streamed from my eyes. I gave up. I was too tired to keep my emotions in check. Today was just not a good day to be strong and emotionless.

Will eyes softened and he dropped my hand. "Walk Reyna home. We'll talk at dinner." He sighed and left the room, leaving me sad, and alone, and very,_ very _teary. So not erect anymore.

(XoXo)

Will and I didn't speak much to each other the rest of the night. I figured we'd get all of our talking done at dinner. And I couldn't exactly avoid it anyway. Not with Will holding the threat of a therapist over my head.

After crying when Will left me in Teddy's room, and washing away the evidence of my breakdown in the bathroom, I walked Reyna home like I was told. When Teddy got home, we talked and played, as though nothing in the world was any different than normal. He cuddled up to me as we watched a movie before his pre-dinner bath. I smiled and joked like nothing was wrong.

At dinnertime, Sara, Kyan, And Teddy were all in their usual spots in the living room eating. I slowly made my way down the stairs, trying desperately to prolong my meeting with Will. When I finally entered the kitchen, I saw Will sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of warm looking soup and a chocolate chip cookie. My stomach growled hungrily at the sight of food, and I remembered that I hadn't really eaten anything since the previous morning.

"Sit." He gestured to the seat next to him, and I obeyed. It always kind of turned me on when he ordered me around with one word sentences. Not that I would ever tell him that. "So let's talk." He said, intently.

"What's there to talk about?" I shrugged. "It's clear I'm nothing but a burden to you."

"But, Nico. The thing is, you're not." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I only said the things I said yesterday because Percy was talking about asking you out. I was feeling a lot of pressure and it sort of just came out. They were just words."

"Just like the ones that are coming out of your mouth now." I countered sadly.

"Then let me show you what I mean through actions." He smirked, as though excited by the thought of 'showing me through actions'. "Sit." He said as he patted his lap. I blushed and gulped, but did as I was told. Heat swirled in my lower half. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I sucked in air and his lips met mine. We kissed. Oh God, we kissed! And what a kiss it was! Hands wandered to my behind as his tongue encircled mine and explored every inch of my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to erase every inch of space between us, the bowl of soup lay forgotten on the table. After what seemed like hours, which I'm sure was only a few seconds, we came up for air, panting hard and very red in the face.

"You forgot the soup." I said, puffing, referring to when he mouth fed me soup as a child.

"I didn't forget it." he laughed breathlessly. "I just didn't want it to get in the way is all."

"You know, I'm really liking this _talk_." I joked.

"Then let's keep _talking." _He smirked seductively and pulled me in for another sweetly spicy kiss.

Little did we know, a pair of spying eyes that had wandered out of the living room watched as Will and I explored every part of each other's body.

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><p><strong>So I just wanna thank everyone for all of your reviews and PMs. seriously though, this chapter would never have been born without all of you. i'd love to say more. I actually planned to say more, but my brain is fried, so goodnight! R&amp;R you know the drill by now! (Also, the sex and stuff will really start in the next chapter. and I've decided to include character death, so you are warned. e ready for the feels)<strong>


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